Welcome to the fortress, brother

The kobolds don’t take R&R.  They are happy to eat some rat meat and steal off into the jungle.  Thankfully they haven’t came to Helmgorge to feed.  But they are out there, lurking, waiting for the time to strike.  In the meantime, it was late spring and I was accosted by someone that I normally would have kicked down the stairs, but it turns out its our first piece of royalty: a queen.

She brought a whole damn entourage: A baroness, a baron consort, a tax collector, and a hammerer.

I picked her brain a bit over some plump helmets and dwarven beer:

She told me her nickname was Freddie Mercury.  I said “Interesting…” Since she is the queen, who am I to judge. Husquarvarna immediately noticed our presence and threw an immense party!

And of course, Wolfgang created a masterpiece in her honor.  We immediately went to work on her and the rest of the entourage’s quarters.  Since I had no idea what even decent quarters looked like, I just told them to smooth and engrave the walls to hell, throw some shit in the rooms and hope for the best.  I think we did OK so far, but we’ll need to appease the queen as much as possible.

Even after all of our hard work, the bastard Aleph decided to ban the export of shoes or something.  As long as it doesn’t effect our export of the highly sought after mugs and toys, I think we’ll be OK.  I made sure the population put some extra effort into Aleph’s quarters, and snuck a few slightly unpleasant engravings in too.

Isak didn’t want to be left out, so she banned the export on earrings.  I don’t think we were even concerning ourselves with such frivolous trinkets.  So little in fact Verling decided to throw a party!  I am seeing a trend here…  As much as I enjoy these gatherings, I can’t help but think everyone is hiding something from me.  Who would leave such a joyous place?

Sadly Fletcher could not join in the revelry and didn’t have the heart to stick around.  It was a sad day among the brood.

Just as we were mourning the loss of Fletcher,  summer came.  Wolfgang created a memorial for the occasion and we continued our hard work.  Except for the tombs, almost all of the work is completed for the Queen and her entourage.  I think everyone is appeased except for her royal needs.  Maybe we can find a tiger to cage up and throw in her room… For some reason, the Tax Collector felt the need to mandate us to start making shoes.  I thought we had a ban on these blasted things.  I told him not to raise the taxes on shoes and I’d see what we could do.

Our first surprise of summer brought us a diplomat from Behal Mokun.  He insisted on meeting with the queen as soon as possible.  After much deliberation, I allowed it and set him loose in the fort.  He encountered our clothmaker Erush,  which set her off in a fey mood!

Great.  Just what we need in this damn place.  I nearly get done blowing all of the nobles and this shit has to happen.  I push Erush off to the side and made sure she didn’t bother the diplomat at all.

(Side note: The diplomat found the queens chambers and hovered over her bed as she slept.  Weiiird.)

After we arose the queen, they were able to meet and discuss my… err… our excellent running machine and what the trade caravan could bring for us.  Hopefully our broker, Ess Eff Bee, would be up to the task this time around. They traded other pleasantries in her chambers and then he left just as quickly as he came.

Well well, Erush decided she needed a new tunic to impress the diplomat.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her he already left. For said tunic, she needs rock blocks, rough gems, silk cloth, and shells.  After the happening with Fletcher, everyone wanted to pitch in and help her “beat the heat” burning in her heart.  I think we could round up or produce everything she needed, except for the shells.  We live by a river and nothing washes up!  I told some men to go find something that would work, but to no avail could we appease Erush. Then another twist of fate occured:

A human caravan arrived! Hooray!

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